Outcome of Choices
Hello everyone, I hope you all are doing well. So, I have had this topic in my heart for a while. I knew I wanted to share about it but just didn’t know when, until today.
We all make choices some bad in which we feel the regret of making that choice. Or when it is a good choice, we feel accomplished for making the right choice. Sometimes we don’t see how one choice will have a ripple effect in our life. Let me tell you about one of the hardest but best choices I have ever made.
When I graduated high school, I moved out of my parent’s home in not a good way. You see I was wild back then and very headstrong. I started hanging out with the wrong people and eventually started to do drugs. For a whole year, I did not speak with my parents or any family member for that matter.
Long story short I had a supplier, and he became my boyfriend. He was Africa-American. To tell you how bad it was we were getting initiated into the Cuban Mafia. We were deep into the drug scene. I was in three-drug raids. I think you get the picture. Well, one night I was at rock bottom and called my mom to come and get me. I will never forget my mom walking up to the crack house, she wasn’t afraid she marched herself right up there and took me away.
I went to rehab in Tucson at West Center. I entered the program weighing about 100 pounds. I looked like I was anorexic. I worked the program. While I was in there, I found out I was pregnant. I was scared because I knew I had to make some big decisions. My mom stood by me and never left my side. She was my rock and my supporter. My dad, on the other hand, was not. His family was prejudiced. They were raised in the ’50s and ’60s. That was a hard time to grow up in.
So, I had several people who wanted me to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption to a family that was African American. I choose to keep her. She was a part of me, I couldn’t see giving her up. When she was born Bethany was perfect. She instantly wrapped my dad around her finger instantly she was accepted. Nothing was ever said about Bethany being a different race.
Now I have always been attracted to dark skin men with long hair. I met Dwayne a year and a half later from having Bethany. Now because I made the choice to keep Bethany it made a ripple effect in my life. My son Matthew married (now divorced) an African American woman. My daughter Rebekah went to a historical black college down deep in Mississippi on a full-ride softball scholarship. She was the first white girl to ever hold a position on the royal court. My youngest Lizzie has always had a big heart and never seen the color of someone's skin.
So, as you can see, we raised our kids not to see color but to see the inside of a person. I am so very thankful that I made that one choice to have Bethany because it set to pace for the rest of our family.
It’s hard sometimes to believe that one choice could change your life. So, I hope when you make a choice in life you think about the ripple effect of your decision.
Thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you all.
Before I write each blog, I always pray that God would give me the words that I need to share. This story came to mind, and I knew right away what God wanted me to share.
At heart, I’m 25, and always will be. But in reality, I’m 52. I have noticed that I have a little more wrinkles than what I had maybe the year before. Haha Over the last few weeks I have been really trying to focus on myself and how I portray myself to others. To look through God's eyes and not the way society sees me.
A few weeks ago, my granddaughter Gracelynn was here. She is four and has the sweetest soul. Gracie and I went to let the chickens out of the coop. As we walked, she held my hand, along the way she got a goat head on her pants. I bent down to get it out. If you know anything about goat heads there is an unspoken category of rating them. Well, this was a very bad ripe one. After I got it out and was about to stand, she grabbed my face with her little hands to say, “Grandma I love you”.
She didn’t see the stress, hurt, or pain that causes wrinkles. Or any of my imperfections all she saw was her grandma.
So, to me, wrinkles are lines of laughter, struggles that I have overcome. Lines to my past, beauty marks that show I have survived.
God doesn’t see our wrinkles just like Gracelynn didn’t see mine. She just saw her grandma that loves her. God doesn’t see our imperfections, he sees us as his masterpiece.
Remember we are ALL HIS MASTERPIECE’S.
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